Oils for Prayer Time

Essential oils vibrate at high frequencies and can be used to strengthen prayer, mindfulness, devotional time, and worship.  When I apply the oils to my wrist and inhale them I pray an approach my prayer journal with an attitude of expectancy. I know when I submit – God will show up. 

These are a few oils I like to use:

Frankincense. The Oil of Truth.  Frankincense helps support a feeling of connectedness spiritually. Frankincense reminds you to feel loved and protected.  It can assist with spiritual connectedness, feeling distant from your physical or spiritual father, and battling spiritual darkness.

Melissa.  The Oil of Light.  This oil can assist individuals in receiving spiritual guidance by connecting them with their inner voice.  It helps one to feel uplifted, gives strength, and encourages inner light. It is a very high vibrational oil.

Clary Sage.  The Oil of Clarity and Vision.  Clary Sage helps to clear darkness, discouragement, and disconnection from the heavenly Father.  It promotes creativity and eliminates distractions from the mind. It can assist in visualizing.

Sandalwood.  The Oil of Sacred Devotion.  Sandalwood helps with prayer, meditation, and worship.  Historically, it has been used to prepare the spirit for connection with God.  It can help to quiet the mind so that the voice of the Father is more easily heard.

Wild Orange.  The Oil of Abundance.  Wild Orange inspires abundance, creativity and positivity.  It encourages one to let go of a scarcity mindset. It encourages a giving spirit and helps to bring forth fun and joy.  Helps to calm a racing mind and promote focus.


Ten Ways to Elevate the Ordinary

I get it. The house that you have never looks like the houses you scroll past in social media. Forget the house, how about the life in general.

Leave it to Facebook, Instagram and mom blogs to seriously pin point the lack we see in our own lives, amirite?

Juggling children, work, husband, sports, friends and self care can lead to legit burnout. Then add in trying to “keep up with the Joneses” (or the Kardashians) and it can have us feeling inferior, frustrated, depressed and guilty.

So what can we do when we only have a few minutes between breakfast and school or homework and sports practice?

I created a list of 10 things you can do to elevate the ordinary so you can easily put a smile on your face, enjoy more moments, and realize that life is happening right now(so embrace it)!

1. Use a fun, holiday mug to drink your morning coffee from. Something about a seasonal mug always adds a smile to my morning!

2. Write in a gratitude journal everyday. When you appreciate the ordinary, you see how extraordinary your life truly is!

3. Listen (and dance) to music. Whatever music you like, turn it on and turn it up! Move, sing and enjoy the moment!

4. Play! Make time to use play doh, color, do puzzles, ride a bike, play in leaves, etc… play will automatically raise your happy hormone!

5. Start your day planning on how you can make someone else happy! Your kids, husband, coworkers, or even the barista you get your coffee from. Plan how you can make them smile!

6. Exchange out your basics for holiday/seasonal upgrades. Hand towels, soaps, lotions, and small decor around your house can get a $20 season upgrade and automatically make you feel festive.

7. Embrace spontaneous gatherings. We are so worried about what our house looks like: the laundry on the couch, the kitchen clutter, and the toys being left out that we loose divine opportunities to enjoy fellowship. ***News Flash*** no one but you thinks your house is a tragic dirty mess, so bust out the charcuterie (whatever you have in the fridge), sit, and have meaningful conversations with friends!

8. Unplug. You know what this means. Stop comparing your life to others day in and day out. Get off the phone and participate in the life that is happening right before you.

9. Hug People. More and more I see less and less physical touch from people. Hug your kids, friends, family and spouse. The chemical response will surprise you.

10. Stop feeling bad about eating off paper plates and watching TV- we all do it! Yes, even the people who say they don’t!

BONUS: #11

Burn the ships! Retreat is easy when you have an option. Stop sinking back into the old lies, the old bitterness, and your old life – they are a safety net and you will always fall back on them if you keep them around! Learn to let things go and press forward into a new day!


At what point are we allowed to “lose our cool” as a Christian?

Years ago, my sister used to tell me to “take my eyes out.”  She was referring to the look on my face when things were not going as expected. We used to joke about how I could “raise hell” when things were not going as planned and how most of the time people wouldn’t mess with me because of my RBF (you can google that on your own). I don’t mention this to brag, if anything, I’m ashamed of my past behavior. Instead I mention this to display how far I have come. 

Rededicating my life to Christ has been extremely rewarding. I have really focused on having more patience and understanding in less than stellar situations, but something kept eating at me still.  I know we all strive to be kind, understanding, and polite on an everyday basis, but what happens when we get really irritated? I know, I know, we are called to have patience in times of frustration, but at what point are we allowed to “lose our cool” as a Christian? At what point are we allowed to be perturbed? Just because we are Christians, does it mean we have to be doormats? 

  • What happens when someone’s negligence causes an accident?
  • What happens when someone’s lack of organization causes you to rearrange your schedule?
  • What happens when someone’s lack of followthrough causes you extra work?
  • What happens when someone’s lack of attention to detail causes an unsantificatory finished product?
  • What happens when someone’s lack of professionalism causes a lost customer?
  • What happens when someone’s lack of customer service causes you to waste your time?

I mean, do I really have to smile and say, “ I understand, It’s not a problem.” When honestly,  I don’t understand and it is a problem… a big problem? Are we called to absorb their inadequacies, because that is “Christ-like” 

I took to the Bible to get my answer. I just knew somewhere in the scriptures I would find the free pass to “give people a piece of my mind”. I kept looking for “ Thou are allowed to tell people off when they are consistently inadequate and cause you frustration,” but I was highly unsuccessful. In fact, I uncovered just the opposite, and, in all honesty, it made me upset. Why? Because it uncovered my heart.

This research exposed a whole bundle of self-centered attitudes in me: a critical spirit, a sense of entitlement, a refusal to offer grace, and a prideful heart. OUCH!

From scripture I learned that when I am consumed by someone else’s inadequacy, it is a perfect opportunity to ask, What does this say about me and my heart?

  • Could my frustration mean I always assume the worst of others?
  • Could my obsession with other business’s flaws say I have a critical spirit?
  • Could my disappointment with my friends, kids, and spouse mean I am withholding grace?

Searching my own heart was no picnic. I did not start this blog thinking I would end up here. Like I said before, I really thought, I would have a right to “complain” and “be frustrated” but through scripture I received something even better: examination, conviction, and now, transformation.

I believe It’s normal to feel irritated and upset with other people, but God wants us to learn not to respond in the flesh.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3)

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. (1 Peter 3:8)

I love how Doug Britton explained it:  “responding to others with grace means “bearing with” (or graciously putting up with) people. It means acknowledging that everyone has areas of weakness and that we all are works in progress. It means loving people in spite of their personalities, habits, and faults.

Through prayer, I am starting to see my disappointments and frustrations in a new light. I have been praying that I no longer use these incidences as opportunities to expose where others lack, complaining and pointing out how their inadequacies have put me out or caused unwanted stress. I instead have asked God to use these moments as opportunities to uncover impurities in my own heart, so I may be the salt and the light!

Bear with me though, I’m not perfect! 


Get Out Of The Gossip Business

Do you speak poorly of your boss and how mean they are? In reality, you’re talking about your own lack of patience and understanding.

Are you gossiping to one friend about another friend who is bothering you?  What you’re really doing is telling the one friend that she can’t trust you not to talk about her too. My mom used to say, “those who talk to you, talk about you” and I still use that wisdom to this day!

Do you bad mouth your spouse to your friends, family or on social media? Then you are simply showing your own lack of integrity and trust.

In the past I have fallen prey to talking poorly of others or, at the least, not leaving or changing the subject when gossip starts. However, these days I’m learning to keep my mouth shut unless it’s truly out of kindness.  When I talk about people, I want it to only be in a good way.

So how do you get out of situations where people are speaking poorly of others?

This is not an easy situation. On one side you want to help the person that is talking through the issue but you also want to defend the person being discussed (since they are not there).

My suggestion is to simply ask why they are telling you this information. That usually indicates to them, you do not want to partake in the gossip and most of the time the subject gets changed. Secondly, you can state that it might be best to take the issues/concerns up with the person directly if they truly want a solution.

Something like,

“ I can see this is difficult for you, you may want to talk with them directly.”


“ I don’t see how I can be much help, this sounds like a discussion for you guys and I hope you guys can work it out.”

Not all people who gossip do it to intentionally hurt others. In fact, divisive speech sometimes is meant to be cathartic (but honestly, it’s still not good). Studies also show that people often talk about other people as a way to avoid looking at something difficult or painful in themselves. The gossiper is likely hurting, scared, insecure, jealous or seeking attention and it’s possible you may be able to change the topic matter and help them instead.

Use this checklist, then excuse yourself from the conversation if it doesn’t sit well in your heart.

  • Is the gossip cathartic in nature or vengeful?
  • Is only one side of the story being told?
  • Do stories or instances seem exaggerated?
  • Is the gossiper seeking validation for their own feelings or behaviors?

At some point, we have been the victim of slander and the ring leader of the gossip circle.

We have all experienced the destruction gossip leaves behind.Whether we mean direct harm, or not, the result of gossip is always broken trust and hurt feelings.

Some quotes to ponder

I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

People gossip. People are insecure, so they talk about other people so that they won’t be talked about. They point out flaws in other people to make them feel good about themselves.” ~ Blake Lively

Often those that criticize others reveal what he himself lacks.” ~ Shannon L. Alder

If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.”  ~ Aesop (c.620-560 BC)

One of my all-time favorites:

Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.” ~ Frank A. Clark


Expect and Take Action

All along I have been telling my God about my struggles when I should have been telling my struggles about my God.

I have not been living a life of expectancy . What we receive from God depends on our level of expectancy. If we expect little, we will receive little. If we expect the impossible, then He will deliver.

Don’t let go of what you expect just because you don’t get it how you thought you were going to get it or in the time frame you wanted. As Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, Seek, and Knock.” Perserverance is the key!

God “works all things together for our good.” But you have to believe and expect that to be true! Like really believe that!

The secret to waiting is expectancy. When you believe God will do what He says, you will not give up waiting for His timing.

I see this in my own kids daily, as they ask me for snacks, drinks, screen time, etc.

When they ask I often respond with, “ not right now” or “in a minute”

Do they get impatient, sure, but they expect me to feed them and they believe they will be taken care of. I don’t always provide for them on their timeline, sometimes things have to get aligned before I can provide.

I realized through this epiphany, that I had lost my spirit of expectancy with my Father. I have called out to Him and He has said, “wait!” Instead of being patient and waiting for His time (like I expect my own children to do with me), I gave up on believing He would even show up at all.

My kids are also getting to an age where, as their parent they can expect me to provide, but they also need to actively participate. Often times, they will ask for me to get them something to eat to which I reply,” you can get up and get it.” As the provider, I got the food to the fridge, but they have to actively participate in feeding their hunger pangs.

Ugh! When God showed me this I was like, “okay God, I hear ya!”

Having a spirit of expectancy helps recognize that God is in control of the ebb and flow in your life but we must trust Him, and actively participate in our lives too. Sometimes He is telling us we have to get up, and go get what He has already provided.We are not victims, simply waiting around for God to feed us at our leisure.

Be hungry

Be expectant

Be faithful

Be active


Crisis – Prone People and How to Help Them.

Crisis-prone people are a storm cloud in otherwise calm skies.

They display a pattern of attention-seeking emotions, an excessive need for approval and boredom usually provokes a need for them to stir something up. Some other behaviors may include:

  • constantly creating drama
  • picking arguments
  • thriving on emotional highs and lows
  • complaining about being gossiped about
  • gossiping themselves
  • seeking attention in person or on social media
  • taking on a victim mentality

If this resonates with you, know that seeking help through prayer can provide strength and hope.

1. Ask Holy Spirit to guide you on ways to restructure your thoughts and revisit your reactions and responses.

2. Ask God to help you distinguish a real crisis from a manufactured one, and to help you find the rewards in calmness rather than calamity.

3. When you feel angry and resentful, release those feelings to God.

4. When you feel empty, remember your identity in Christ.

Take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and be slow to anger (James 1:19).

God’s Word is ALWAYS truer than our worldly interpretations, and His commands are right, where our flesh driven tendencies and desires stir us wrong.

Does this sound like a friend or family member? Here is how you can help:

1. Pray for them

2. Have biblical boundaries and a strong heart. Love them but you don’t have to pick up the phone all hours of the night.

3. Lovingly point out the consequences of their crisis prone tendencies

4. Recognize when a discussion is spiraling out of control and redirected the conversation

5. Speak Truth over them, and focus your our heart on God to keep you stable.

And last, but not least:

6. You must forgive the neediness, the overthinking, the lies, and the unwarranted emotional outbursts. You may need to spend some time apart, but use it as an opportunity to seek guidance from God, not out of anger or punishment to them.

“Love covers all offenses”

(Proverbs 10:12, ESV).


Get past your past. Your future is waiting!

Did you grow up being told you were dumb, worthless, irresponsible, or ugly?

Do you have horrible past relationships?

Constantly struggling with your failures from the past?

Are you ashamed with things you have done or said in your lifetime?

Today’s the day you speak life into yourself!

Your past no longer defines you and no longer matters!

Until your past is wiped clean you will always use it to describe you and confine you!

Have you ever written or drawn anything and had to erase it?

When you take an eraser to your mistake it’s not 100% gone, and darker imprints are always harder to remove; however, the erased image is so light that the new writing on top is more prominent, legible and becomes the final project.

Now, while you are erasing you can still remember and see the misspelling, the unclear thought, or the wrong sketch you made. In that moment you use the hint of the erased past to help you create a better rewrite. You use it to benefit you. You use it to make your new project even better than the original!

God does the same thing. He uses our past to make us better and to bring Him Glory. You can have a completely new story with God as the author. Allowing God to rewrite your story, doesn’t completely erase your past but it does erase the guilt and condemnation (dark imprints).

Ever go back five years later to look at your drawing or writing? Can you remember what you erased still? Can you even see it at first glance? Of course not!

Well, with a lot of energy, money, time and resources you can analyze it and uncover what was once written even after being erased and time passing. In fact, I’ve done that before- several times🤦‍♀️. I let God erase my past, rewrite my story, and then years later my flesh decided to be a sleuth!

Your flesh is tricky. Disguised as ruminating thoughts, what if questions, google searches, and social media stalking, your flesh will be happy to help you seek out your past. Reminding yourself of what was once poorly written gets you nowhere. It does, however, cost you time, money, pain and regret.

Research from the National Criminal Justice Reference service says that, “pencil writing is relatively easy to erase or at least to make almost illegible.”

Through Jesus our past can “ be illegible” too!

One researcher said, “When we rub an eraser across a pencil mark, the abrasives in the eraser gently scratch the surface fibers of the paper to loosen the graphite particles. The softener in the eraser helps to prevent the paper from tearing. The sticky rubber in the eraser grabs and holds onto the graphite particles.

Erasers work on friction and friction generates heat. As the abrasives in the eraser are rubbed against paper, friction produces heat, which helps the rubber become sticky enough to hold onto the graphite particles.“

God is our eraser. He is gentle, soft and careful enough to not tear our paper, but provides enough friction so we produce the heat He needs to grab our “graphite particles”.

God has the biggest eraser you have even seen. He can erase your past. Give Him your story, let Him erase it and rewrite it for you!


4 Cringe Worthy things you are doing to unintentionally hurt others.

None of us set out to hurt people when we wake up each morning, but unfortunately we do. It is one of the worst feelings, when someone you care about tells you that you hurt them. So here are 4 ways you are more than likely hurting the people you love:

  • Treating them as if they are you. Providing advice, constructive criticism, or even training, from the perspective that they should perform, think and act like you, is a surefire way to hurt people’s feelings. We all have different pasts, finances experiences, support systems, beliefs, values and other things that make us unique. We have to meet people where THEY are at and then move forward.
  • Criticizing instead of Helping. Before you speak, get in tune with your intentions.  Are you trying to build them up, train, encourage and help them? If so, review what you are going to say (and how you are going to say it)  then ask yourself if someone you respected was saying it to you, how would you feel?
  • Not realizing your perception is NOT their reality. What you say and do and what they hear and feel are very different. Most people feel hurt when your intentions do not match their experience. Saying it was not your intent to hurt someone with your words or actions does not simply make everything great again. Behavior change is needed. Reflect on the behavior and make changes the next time
  • Using text or email to explain a tough subject. Tonality, voice inflection and facial expressions can not be seen or heard, from either party, when we use electronics. When discussing a hot topic, a blind spot, or something that could be misconstrued, a face to face conversation (or video chat) is best.

Work on these four things and watch your relationships grow and flourish!

Are you unintentionally stifling growth?

When I sit too close to them, I inevitably suffocate them with my safety concerns and guidance.

I’m normally not a helicopter parent, we don’t call our kids free range savages for nothing. I have,however, noticed how easy it is to shout commands and concerns to them when I am within speaking distance. So after providing clear instructions, I decided to watch from a distance while they played.

I created more distance between me and the kids so the mindless and automatic “ watch your step” and “try going the other way” comments would take more effort then they were actually worth.

This is what I witnessed:

1. Stratton would test a rock to ensure it was safe to step on and then Tempie followed his path. (She trusted him)

2. When they made a poor stepping stone choice on the way across, they avoided that stone on the way back. (Learned from their mistakes)

3. They took a path, I wouldn’t have, it was not necessarily the safest, but it was extremely creative.

4. Stratton is a great leader (when I’m not telling him what to do)

5. They played longer than normal, probably because it was more fun and challenging

6. They felt extremely accomplished and proud when they were done.

7. They survived, had fun, and were safe without me having to dictate their every move

8. They didn’t ask me what to do every 10 minutes. They figured it out to the best of their ability

9. They didn’t keep looking to me for approval or in fear of not making the choice I wanted.

10. It was not how I would have played, but it was how they played and if playing was the goal does it really matter?

How often do we do this in our work life? When it comes to delegating tasks or letting go of responsibilities we tend to hover over people to make sure everything is how we want it to be.

Just like a mom, we hover because we care, we want the best for them, and we want to breed success. Unfortunately, we end up stifling creativity and poisoning our culture with distrust.

If you want to be a servant leader you must stop being a helicopter delegator. Just like with my kids, when you remain too close to the situation, it’s easy to find and comment on all the “little things.” To the person receiving all the, so called, “help” it feels like a band-aid slowing being ripped off. (It sucks!)

I imagine my kids playing on the rocks and every five minutes me commenting, correcting, suggesting or complaining to them (yes, out of love) but nonetheless consistently chipping away at their ability to think for themselves and learn from their own choices (good or bad).

The same is true for mentees and coworkers.

As servant leaders we must:

  • Clearly define the goal
  • Provide clear instructions/concerns
  • Remain close enough to intercept any possible catastrophic issues
  • Remain far enough away to allow people to “do their thing”
  • Provide an opportunity afterwards to discuss the gap. (The gap is the difference between the clearly defined goal and what actually happened.)This discussion is a mentoring opportunity, and is done in one sitting with personal and professional growth and improvement in mind- not conformity.

It can be scary, unsettling and downright uncomfortable to sit back and watch things unravel differently then you “had planned.” However, if the goal is for leaders to create more leaders we must allow people to actually LEAD.

Will things always end perfectly? No. Can mistakes cost us time and money?Absolutely. But….. and it’s a big but. The freedom we inspire, allow and receive is immeasurable.

When we stop helicoptering, our children and mentees get the freedom to independently learn and grow. In all honestly though, as mentors and parents we are set free too.

  • No longer do we have to worry about things being perfect.
  • No longer do we anticipate what could go wrong.
  • No longer do we feel the burden of everyone else’s mistakes and learning experiences
  • No longer do we feel the need to criticize and correct everything in the name of “helping.”

Remember whether it’s your kids, your friends, or your employees: Leading people should always be about THEM and their experience, and when we hover, we make it about US and our intent.

Don’t we deserve better?

Ever been upset, because you didn’t get what you deserved?

I worked hard, I deserved a promotion.

I sacrificed my 20’s to raise my kids, I should be able to chillax now.

I apologized to my friend, I deserve some grace.

I remained focused when others were distracted, I deserve to get my prize.

Lately, I have been thinking this way. I have been going over, everything I have given up and put on hold for my business, my kids, my family or even friends who I have spent hours giving advice and guidance to.

I think of the sacrifices I have made when it comes to time, money and resources.

Sometimes I think… all that.. and for what?

They don’t appreciate…

I still don’t have….

What do I have to show…

If only I would have…

Others don’t understand…

My flesh, and yours, wants to throw a fit when things seem unfair. We believe good people should win and bad people should lose. We believe you reap what you sow. We believe what goes around comes around- and when that doesn’t happen, we get mad and stomp our feet ( or is that just me?🤔)

This is the trap of delusional self-righteousness.

I’ve been a loyal wife

I’ve been a good friend

I’ve been an honest employee

I’ve been a loving parent




And what do I get in return? Ungrateful kids, disrespect from coworkers, unloving family members and your list can go on and on- right? (You fill in your blank)

What gives? Don’t we deserve better?

Paul says: there is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one (Romans 3:10-12); and the wages of sin is death. (Romans 6:23)

Self- Righteousness and self pity have no place in our lives. I got a backhanded slap from God today!

The woe is me, I deserve better, things are unfair attitude is a way I have inflated my own goodness.

I don’t deserve the reminder God gave me today. I don’t deserve his enlightenment showing me where I have been fleshly driven. I don’t deserve the opportunity to repent, I don’t deserve to be cleansed of my sins. I don’t deserve peace and I don’t deserve his abundant grace and mercy.

But he gives it to me anyway!

The one thing in life that I truly DON’T deserve… I got anyway when Jesus gave his life for me.

The truth is we should thank God, we don’t actually get what we deserve.

Our life is for Him, we must stop making it about us.

Submission IS NOT Oppression

It’s funny how submission has become a derogatory word. Many people equate the word submission with women being oppressed or abused-but we must look deeper.

Submission to God is not being oppressed, it’s in fact, the very opposite- it’s liberating!

Submission is saying: God is perfect, I’m not. Submission is agreeing that God’s plan, is better than our own. Submission is like a weight off our shoulders and a breathe of fresh air. Submission allows us to, tear down our facades, expose our weaknesses, and humbly come to Christ with our sin without fear of condemnation.

Initial submission brings us into God’s arms and allows Him to set up shop in our heart, but it must not stop there. We are not called to submit once, but to continually submit to Jesus and deepen our relationship with Him.

In Romans 6:13 God demands us to submit “every part” of ourselves to Him.

The more we surrender to God, the more our old self absorbed, fleshy nature is replaced with one that resembles Christ

How do we submit?

We humble ourselves. We must deny the power we want, and give up OUR control.

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5).

It’s no longer about US! It’s about God’s wisdom, His and His power. Many times, this comes in the form of submitting to others, in the name of the Lord.

Where there is true submission, pride cannot reside.

Where there is true obedience, arrogance cannot reside.

But when there is true surrender, we are offered peace.

It is often in our greatest failures that we gain a greater understanding of grace – and God has shown me this first hand.

I am growing in grace. Overtime I learn more and more how to deny myself and the self assertion that has made me the successful person I am today.

I must not condemn myself, because that will hinder God’s plans for me. Instead I must, extend myself grace and learn from my mistakes.

It has been exposed to me that for years I have claimed to be a sincere believer, but my thoughts, behavior and actions were not in alignment.

I can no longer be a bold and influential leader while also allowing my default response

of fear to take over when things get uncomfortable or scary.

Humility is not insecurity, and vulnerability is not weakness. Contrary to what many may think, I am not giving up my unique gifts, by surrendering my life to God. I’m finally using my gifts, for God’s glory and God is showing me how to walk in humble boldness.

Therefore, I am so grateful that through repentance, tears, grace and humbleness, Lord, I surrender all to You!

It’s not who we were that matters!

Ever heard someone say, New Level, New Devil? There is a lot of truth to this statement. As you up level yourself, it seems like everyone has an opinion on you, your life and your past.

Our culture teaches that what we think, how we act, and who we are is the result of our past. To a certain extent, where you are in life is the result of your past choices and behaviors, but it is now WHO YOU ARE. Our culture pushes the idea that our past controls our present and therefore many of our friends and family judge us through the eyes of our past.

They just can’t seem to see us differently. To them, we are still the college drop-out, the pregnant teenager, the fickle dieter, the uncommitted friend, the chronic career hopper, the divorced mom of three, or the arrogant boss.

The Bible reverses this. In Ephesians 4:17-24 Paul instructs us to leave our old ways behind. He teaches us that our past ways were the product of our flesh driven thinking. Paul urges us to not allow our past to control us in the NOW. Instead, Paul teaches us that who we are now, In Christ, should overrule our past thinking and behavior.

17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 
18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 
19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 
21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 
22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 
23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 
24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4:17-24 NIV

Who we are in Christ, the person we are now (today) should cause us to discard what we once thought, did and said as nonbelievers.

Our past should not be brought up, analyzed and obsessed on, by others or ourselves.

It is not who we were that matters, but who we are. We should rejoice and marinate in who we are, in Christ, and not what we were when we were without Him.

Once you are saved, it’s inevitable – there will be distance created between you and unsaved friends and family. However, by your behavior you can show them what it means to be a Christian, but you no longer need to be shackled by their opinions of your former self.